misterx: (Default)
I've heard several examples of people using "big-ass" as an adjective lately, and I would like to warn you of the dangers inherent in this linguistic structure. Namely, that any use of this modifier is subject to misinterpretation, especially when used vocally, or when the hypen is admitted. For instance...

Example 1: "I killed a big ass spider in the bathroom today."
You probably meant that you killed a large spider. But it is also possible you just admitted you have ass spiders, which is just nasty. If you have ass spiders, don't admit it. Seek help.

Example 2: "I made a big ass mistake at work today."
Really? You made a big "ASS MISTAKE"? At WORK? What the hell were you thinking? Dude, you are soooo fired.

Example 3: "I need a big ass fucking vacation."
Really Mr. Buttram? You need a big, ass fucking vacation? Whatever floats your boat I guess. I hope I don't see you until you return. And yes, it was really said by someone named Buttram. I will not let him live it down.

In conclusion, I hope you are able to learn from their mistakes, and spare yourself the social repercussions.
misterx: (blah blah blah)
Why, if you go to Amazon and enter Amazon.com in the search field (early morning error, don't ask), does it offer this as the first result?

Buy new$19.95 $17.99
11 Used & new from $8.83
Get it by Thursday, Jun 11 if you order in the next 8 hours and choose one-day shipping.
Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping.
3.6 out of 5 stars (12)

This is on a browser that is not logged in and cookies cleared, so I don't think it's me. What do you get?
misterx: (Default)
OFIM good people. As you may know, spam is like a word association game for me, I judge the quality of spam by the first thing that pops into my head when I read it.

"You can be ugly and stupid as long as your shaft is big."
Why am I picturing Vern Troyer walking next to Samuel L Jackson?

"Boost your health with Acai Berry."
acai thx bai

"You will find online shopping for drugs very convenient."
You will also find you have new package delivery guys in blue uniforms.

"After you enlarge your penis you can feel all the enjoyments of this life."
But, you must feel only with your penis, that is the catch. "Hey honey, feel how soft this sweater is... OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"Feeling unneeded in bed? We can change it to different feeling."
Like unneeded at work too.

"Satisfy Your Loveer"
I am particularly intrigued by this combination of the words "lover" and "veer". Except that the word "veer" is typically heard in news reports, as in "...causing him to veer into oncoming traffic". Perhaps you will satisfy him/her so much, they will veer into traffic. But seriously, you shouldn't be doing that while driving. Get a room.

"Being a real man is a hard job, but it's easier with a blue pill."
Real men choose the red pill, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

"Bust a move"
Says she wanna dance cuz she likes the groove, so come on fatso just bust a move. You want it, baby you got it...

"Vacancy of the accounting assistant"

You got that right, she's a total airhead.

"You hate when your friend down there ignores a hot chick."

Freakin' Igor, he has a one track mind. Always with the brains, that one!  Igor, get out of the graveyards and bring me a hottie!

"Loan mortgage car"
Guys, come on, you aren't even trying anymore. Don't give up. At least make an attempt to get past the filters.

"Is this a photoshop?"
No, this looks spammed. I can tell from some of the pixels, and from seeing quite a few spams in my time.

"Amazing weight loss in the shortest time possible"
Try the Eviscerator 2000! It slices, it dices...

"Continues to Execute Aggressive Development of Immune-O-Therapy"
What exactly is "Immune-O-Therapy"? As in, Immune Orgasm Therapy? I may be willing to try this. And you say you are developing it aggressively? Even better. :)

"Age is no longer a barrier for me in bed"
Yep. I'm now dating 90-year-olds.

And, because I appreciate innovation even if it's spam, I share this with you... some enterprising spammer made the word viagra made by coloring in blocks of an html table. I got it in an email entitled "Allarm!":


Its fun! Resize your browser to watch the word change. It's like they emailed me a toy.  I'm still not buying any though.



misterx: (Default)
Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.
-Thomas Alva Edison

I used this quote this morning (Lorelei was wishing she had mad guitar skillz), when Melanie chimed in from the kitchen. "Don't forget respiration".

"Well, that's true, or you'd have a bunch of talented but suffocated dead people. How about this... Success is 10 percent inspiration, 10 percent respiration, and 80 percent perspiration."

But then Storm yells from the bathroom... "What about transportation?"

She's right. You can have mad skillz till last Tuesday, but no-show = no spotlight.

"Ok, good point, you need to get there. So success is 10 percent inspiration, 10 percent respiration, 10 percent transportation, and 70 percent perspiration."

Now I'm wondering what else success requires. Emancipation? Innovation? Bloviation?
misterx: (Default)
I moved my site again, to an even faster server than last time. Nice side benefit of working for an internet company.

A weird thing happened though, my google gadgets quit working when viewed on my iGoogle homepage. What was baffling me is that before making the site live I checked that both my cron job was working correctly to generate the updates, and that the generated files were happy and accessible. Example of happy and accessible file: http://www.vaughnsphotoart.com/googlegadgets/random-landscape-photo.html

The error was an odd one too, a 403 access forbidden. Yet I could view the files just fine, outside of the igoogle page, which meant some combination of Google's handling of the link and my new server made it barf. Google links directly to the file, but they append all kinds of parameters to the url:

I separated out params one by one, and tracked it down to this one as the problem: parent=http://www.google.com

Spent about an hour trying to write an .htaccess RewriteRule that would remedy it, maybe encode the slashes and color or something, and then realized it was never even getting to my rule. Why? I went through server logs and eventually figured out that the new server is running the EasyApache ModSecurity module, and ModSecurity is taking offense to the "=http://www.google.com", thinking it is an injection attack.

So, I had to learn how to write rules for ModSecurity, and eventually wrote one to allow the google gadget requests to go through.

Ah, what fun.
misterx: (Default)
it always means "reduce the quality of the image by compressing it, thereby making it look worse"? It's like going to a restaurant and being handed a check... except that you aren't being given money, you have to pay. Stupid backwards language.
misterx: (Default)
In the latest Xmen movie, what the hell was Gambit's mutant power supposed to be? He was just sort of ninja'ing around, laying smackdowns with a deck of cards, and flying with a stick. It was very unclear. Super-gambling, I got. The rest was vague.
misterx: (Default)
I can't decide what I like better, the name of the product or the graphics:

misterx: (blah blah blah)
I say it's "meh green". For when you couldn't really care less what color it is.

Meh green, because gray makes too much of a statement.

Meh green, for those times when "mint" is too courageous.

Meh green, because medical green isn't comatose enough.

Meh...     green.
misterx: (blah blah blah)
Hello. My name is Oksana. I understand that you don't know me, and I
don't know you, but in the future all can change probably. I ask that
you have given me some minutes on perusals of my letter. I hope that
it will not make difficulty to you. Agency Acquaintances in Cheboksary
gave me your e-mail address. To me explained that you very good person
and you very much approach to me. I have come to Agency to find the
future husband from other country. Why from another country? Because I
have been very much disappointed with Men from my country and now I
search my life in abroad. I has tired to be lonely and to carry spend
all days equally. I want to love and to be happy! I asked myself a
question why I can not it. And I come in this agency with such the
request that they have helped me to find the person for that I will
happy. Yes certainly I have paid some money that has found the person
for me. But what is it the money in comparison with love? Nothing. It
is simply emptiness. Love is the most important feeling in a life,
without which our lives grey and empty. I shall not speak how many I
have paid. I hope that you will understand me. I very much hope that
you will be interested in me and we can continue our dialogue after
that letters. And I very much hope that I shall leave in yours opinion
good Impression about me. I want to tell some words about me. As I
already spoke my name is Oksana. I'm 28 years. I live in Cheboksary.
You can look my external qualities in my photo which I have attached
in the letter. I live with my mum together and I work as doctor. I
have gone studies on this profession, in order to help people. I look
like on my father because he gave your life to rescue the little girl,
and he has rescued her only he lost. I shall tell you about it later.
I love my professional though In Russia it is not as well appreciated
as in other foreign countries. I love an active way of life but time
not suffices. In my life I dream to find the person with which I can
to lead all life and I shall be happy. I dream about big and cheerful,
friendly family. I don't search ideal man. The main thing that in him
there were high qualities as skill to love, to respect, to appreciate
relations, to love children and is skilful to love and make the happy
partner. For me the age does not matter because the love has not
limit. I very much hope that you will write to me and will tell about
yourself. I am already lonely very long time. I had earlier shot
relations but it was failed. I very much hope that you become my
unique person in my life. So let's not lose time. I ask you that you
have answered my letter and then we can learn each other better. I
hope that I have liked to you. If serious relations aren't interesting
to you or I am not pleasant to you, say me it please. Is it well?

I very much ask that you have answered to me ONLY to my personal e-mail: oksank4ka2009@googlemail.com

I shall wait from you the letter with the big impatience!
Bye bye!
Tired from loneliness Oksana.

I really wasn't connecting with Oksana until I saw the fish picture. Now, I have to say, I dream about big and cheerful.

misterx: (Default)
A friend sent me this, and I think it's great.

And since the video doesn't appear to be working when I use the "embed media" feature of the editor, here is the link: 

misterx: (Default)
Linux computers measure time since the "epoch", which started midnight January 1, 1970.

Today, at 30 seconds past 6:31pm EST, Unix/POSIX time will measure 1234567890 seconds since the epoch !

So put on your propeller party hats folks. :)

Watch the countdown here:

Slashdot article:
misterx: (Default)

And while I'm there, maybe I'll run up to him and give him a toy gun.
misterx: (family shadow)
Went shopping today for clothes. I picked up:

3 pairs of pants
1 pair of jeans
6 long sleeve shirts
2 short sleeve shirts
2 pairs of slacks for Mel
2 pairs of jeans for Storm
1 dress for Storm

Total: $39.50

Thrift stores rock. :)

Here: have some wintry weeds...

misterx: (blah blah blah)
Spicy-chicken-fried-chocolate-chip-cookie is not very good.

Maybe it would come out better with fresh oil.

But I doubt it.
misterx: (Default)
It's called "Rec"  (as in RECord, on a video camera). I don't think an english dub exists, I saw it in Spanish subbed in english. It's somewhere between 28 Days (zombies, the fast type) and Cloverfield (first person view through the eye of a video crew's camera). Quarantine is Hollywood's remake. Quite good. Nicely paced decent into madness, we have time to feel good and normal before things really go south. I recommend it. 
misterx: (Default)
Yes, I said it. Happy Halloween.

Coincidence that we celebrate the undead so close to election day? I think not.

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