misterx | Entries tagged with personal

I've got a cough, sore throat, sore everything, and a fever. Went home about an hour after arriving at work on Monday, came home and went to sleep. I've mostly slept ever since. Man I feel wonky, serious space cadet.

Three trailer loads, three truck loads. Maybe four? Mucho thanks to those who volunteered, or were drafted. ;)

The big new shop doesn't look so big anymore. Nooks AND crannies filled with soaping stuff. Cats are bewildered, keep giving us looks as if to say "WTF, humans?" Mel has much arranging to do. I suspect a good 25% of the large items may come back out. The new shop has more built in shelf space.

I have more to say but the old brain isn't wanting to think.
I am teh pooped.

I hate these situations... two choices, this or that, neither one any good. Neither choice acceptable. My mind gnaws and gnaws on it, looking at A, looking at B... staring... going over and over it. No matter how much mental energy I throw at it, no matter how many ways I look at it, I can't make the situation budge. Neither choice.

I have several of these going at the moment. I'm at wits end.

Thus, I withdraw from the game. I refuse to play. There is no point in battering myself. My choice, for now, is no choice.

According to the directions, I may need these four tools:

Here's what I actually used:

( Read more... )

Santa brought me a train set with the most awesome Engrish on it. I'll post pics when I can.

I added a new page to my website. It's called "Misc". I know, bloody brilliant, right?! Things there will be (1) assorted, (2) random, and (3) miscellaneous.

http://www.vaughnsphotoart.com/index.php?page=misc-2

The blurred focal effect can be interpreted as a visual representation of the way we direct our consciousness onto one thing to the exclusion of all else. I don't mean this negatively, like tunnel vision... more like when you are paying close attention to something. When something intrigues you, or when something moves out of the corner of your eye and you turn to look for it, or when searching the eyes of someone for answers. Perhaps you are looking into the eyes of someone you love, or searching the dark for the source of the noise. Or both.

Lots of lensbaby pics to come.

I have so many photos done that I haven't posted. Images from the circus series, images from last weekend, images from the weekend before that, etc. Not sure why I am falling behind like this, but I'll try to post something, even if it's one huge "here's everything I've got right now" post.

I may not know a lot about carpentry, but I'm pretty sure that when you put down new plywood for flooring, you're not supposed to put it ON TOP OF THE OLD CARPET PADDING!!!

!@#$%^&*

This should probably have been several long posts, instead of one abbreviated one, but I've let too much slip past.

We went to LEAF last weekend. LEAF = Lake Eden Arts Festival, in Black Mountain NC. Mel went down Thursday night, the kids and I went down Friday night. We stayed till Sunday afternoon. What a great time it is out there. The whole place has a really good vibe. We stayed up late, slept very little, and I was up before dawn with camera and tripod, photographing. It's one of those experiences you wish could last much longer than it does. Music from 8am to 1am, tons of talented artisans, lots of down-to-earth humans. I recommend all try to attend. Order tickets online, well in advance... Saturday was sold out before the gates even opened. http://www.theleaf.com Many photos are forthcoming. :)
What I learned when formatting/reconstituting my computer:
1. Microsoft provides insufficient information when you utilize it's built-in encryption on WindowsXP. Nowhere does it tell you that you have to back up the encryption key, buried somewhere in the documents and settings tree, if you want to rebuild your system and still have access to your files. Even with the same username/password, you can't get in if you lost that key. You also can't erase the locked files, no matter how many gigabytes they are taking up. It was quite irritating.
2. While getting all your editing software installed and running is indeed worthy of celebration, celebrating by editing a couple hundred photos BEFORE you realize that you didn't calibrate your monitor kind of tarnishes the hoorah. Especially when you realize black and white looks sepia. Lots of reediting. What fun.
What I learned when dealing with several tech support departments in the last week regarding server hardware: All tech support departments will resort to recommending you reinstall the product by the 5th message in any given support thread, and reinstalling the OS by the 8th message.
Some of you have been around long enough to remember the bathroom project ( 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ). It looks like I may be getting to do another. Some source of water has been soaking from Lorelei's bathroom into her bedroom floor under the foam carpet padding. The particle board floor is now mostly particle, and very little board. Mass replacement of flooring and possibly fixtures is due to occur in the near future. Donations of beer, acetaminophen, and backrubs gratefully accepted.
Storm has the strep. I will likely be working from home tomorrow, to the extent possible. Mel stayed with her today.
Went to the circus with shirokarasu and kids. It was a badly needed outing, with suitably lighthearted content. My brain hasn't been all that happy lately and I needed a break. Lots of pics coming from that event too.
The cops were at my neighbors again, this time something to do with her daughter. Must be weird, needing to call the cops all the time just to manage your personal life. But this seems to be how she deals with things. Ever think that maybe, if you need to call the cops all the time, there might be something wrong with the decisions you're making?
I was going to build a new PC for photo editing. I was saving up the bucks. My car found out about it however, and ate all the money. My consolation prize was a Samsung YP-T10 (mp3/video/text reader/recorder/fm/thingie). I also got a couple pairs of Sennheiser headphones (PX100 for walking around, HD202's for the office) off of Ebay for Cheap and they sound much better than the stock 'phones, or anything you're likely to buy at MalWart either.
There is no 9th thing.
Photo posts are imminent.

“The artist is the confidant of nature, flowers carry on dialogues with him through the graceful bending of their stems and the harmoniously tinted nuances of their blossoms. Every flower has a cordial word which nature directs towards him.”
- Auguste Rodin

This would seem obvious to those who like coffee... forget the coffee press? Impossible! But in a household such as mine, where one of the two coffee drinkers really doesn't like coffee-press coffee and prefers to use the espresso machine, using the press for one cup of coffee doesn't make sense. It takes longer, you have to heat the water separately, etc.

So it had been a while since I had used the coffee press. It had gotten pushed to the back of the counter. Melanie noticed it back there Monday, and commented to me... something to the effect of "the coffee press is looking scary". I had to think for a second, then realized she probably meant that I had forgot to remove the grounds last time I used it, and it was turning into a science experiment. Indeed, that was the case... it growled. It had mirrored glasses and a manifesto. It made vague references to my mother's safety.

So, last night after work, I decided to clean it out. Pulled it into the light of day... man. That's nasty looking. Oh well. I proceeded to pull the plunger out. Or I should say, I tried to. It was adhered to the glass and grounds by the considerable forestry taking place in the beaker. It took undo pressure, but finally it let go. Shhoomp!

A green cloud billowed out of the container. I shit you not. I am assuming they were spores or something. That CAN'T be good, thought I, taking two steps back to avoid breathing it.

Yeah. I've never used bleach when washing dishes before, but I'm willing to make an exception this time. I'm letting it soak for a while.

Just haven't felt like saying much I guess. I start typing, then stare at what I've written, and go "who cares?", erase it and post some photos instead. Priorities and all.

I think I posted too many people shots this last time. I got the idea to post all the ones I thought came out of each person. It now occurs to me though that if you don't know the people, those posts are of limited interest. I could probably have whittled it down to just my favorites and saved everyone some bandwidth. Hmm. Maybe a repost, under a cut tag.

I have some new stuff to post, from yesterday's trip to the Guest River Gorge. That isn't where I intended to go, and I was writing out the story of that, but the who cares kicked in and I wrote this instead. I am forcing myself not to delete this too. Anyway, on to the photos.

I've not been posting much lately, been kind of laying low. This month has been really bad for some of my friends and coworkers, and I'm trying not to draw the gods attention to me, lest they decide to throw some plagues my way too. Being empathetic, the crapstorm has been psychically exhausting. I'm not the type to "reach out" when I'm having a hard time, I tend to draw inward. So that's the other reason for the silence.

I didn't get much photography done the last few weeks due to Melanie being at the festival. Yesterday was my first "day off" where I could head out on my own to explore and clear my mind. I located one "Hogskin Branch Falls" (here) and spent some time photographing there. After I finished I put the camera to the side and leaned against the stone and moss under the falls. As hot as I was, and as much as I had been needing to get out, this was just what the doctor ordered. I then took my squishy self back to my car, picked up Storm from Mel's shop, and went looking for photography backpack.

I wanted a backback because while my current sling pack is handy, after a while it starts making my back hurt. It's a fair amount of weight to be hanging off-center on one's body all day. I picked up a nice backpack at a really stupidly high price (in my defense, they are all priced stupidly high) and got the major stuff put inside yesterday evening. I think I want to add some pockets in one of the interior spaces... it lacks nooks and crannies.

I've started several projects lately, including trying to get UltraVNC working, starting a photo book, making another Google Gadget, working on some possible collaborations with a hiking website, a framed art website, and others, and seriously contemplating "what's next". I don't know if that last counts as a project. It's as hard as one.

Anyway, I've got some photos to post, I'll be doing that next.

If one must be depressed, I guess it's good that I keep shooting anyway. I've been accumulating this stuff but haven't had the heart to post it. So, here it is, all in one big string of posts.

Stuff i'm not inclined to talk about goes here. See it?

Mission accomplished. I can go back to my cave now.

Man I'm beat.

Yesterday I visited waterfall I'd never been to in the Wilson Creek area (nearish to grandfather mountain, nc). It's called Huntfish Falls, and to be honest I'm not sure WHICH of the falls there was the official one. It was gorgeous. What a swim spot too, big shallow basins carved out of the rock, one after another. Another portion had a low-volume stream splashing dramatically down rock cliffs, maybe a 65' drop. There were probably four falls in 300' radius. I stayed quite a while there, just laying back on the smooth granite, listening to the rumble of the falls, and letting the wind blow over me.

Today the kids wanted to do something so I packed them in the car and went after Coyote Falls, near the TN/VA border south of Erwin TN. I knew it was a roughly 35' drop, and I had a coordinate in my GPS, but beyond that I knew little. I found a parking spot near a trail near the location, and figured it was probably it. Yeah. Not so much. The trail was the AT, and it just happened to pass through the area. To the falls, there was no trail. What was there is a steep descent through a pine forest heavy with ground litter, transforming into an even steeper descent through a dense weave of mountain laurel. It was so dense that we were within 50' of the falls before I saw it. It was a lovely fall though, recessed into the hill with a good volume of water, cushiony moss an inch deep on every rock and log, ferns everywhere. We stayed a while, hunted salamanders, climbed the falls, and generally enjoyed the place for a good while before making the arduous climb back to the top. It was so steep the GPS complained it didn't have a clear view of the sky.

Two steep climbs in two days, my legs are not pleased with me. :)

Pictures to come.

The current theory is that I've been pushing it too much. Pushing it in the "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" sense. Shooting, processing, adding photos to the site, making changes to the templates, R&D into this and that, SEO, yeah. What's the point if I'm forgetting to have fun.

Possible remedies include:

Backing off on the production crunch, relaxing the schedule a bit, doing what parts I want when I want. That may sound obvious but... but! I already feel so behind, I don't know if it's a good idea to get further backlogged. It may just make me feel worse in the long run. I'm trying to have some discipline and a good work-ethic here.
Changing perspective, by doing something entirely different photographically. Maybe the shift in gears will be enough to knock the monkey wrench out of the clockwork. Damn monkey. Somebody suggest what I should shoot.
Find a zen treatment option. Shiro suggests we do the unthinkable... spend a day shooting, and at the end of the day instead of downloading, we just format the cards. This appeals to me. I think it should be done, to remind me of the proper priorities. But will it be enough?
So far all the remedies I've listed are still related to photography. Perhaps the answer lies not within, but without, and I need to add something new to the mix. Maybe I'm letting photography become a self-dug rut.
I have a vague plan regarding winning the lottery and dive bombing the Whitehouse, dropping planeloads of my photos, but I haven't fleshed it out fully.
Getting involved with others who have an interest in photography and/or the arts in general. I've been terribly solitary in my photography lately. And I *know* being around creative people inspires me. So I should probably do something about that, and seek out some people in real life. Anybody want to do... something?
There is no last thing.

I want to thank everyone who made comments/suggestions to my last post on the subject. I still plan to reply. I just want to reflect further and process.

In other news, three birthdays down, two to go. :)

As of late I've been getting discouraged with respect to my photography. This fully sucks, as it's something keeps me going when nothing else will. Something that I always have enthusiasm for, something that I have a DRIVE to do, something that I like doing. To be honest it's my only hobby, my only outlet. That is probably adding to how hard I'm taking this. I don't know if something has changed, or if I've just progressed to a point where I find it important, but I'm starting to ask "what's the point?". It's one thing to do the photography, but it's another to feel like you're getting somewhere with it. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.

I try to avoid thinking about it, keep trying to dodge the feeling, but today it overwhelmed me and I'm pissed off and sad.