So I'm eating breakfast...

So this morning I've got my bowl of cereal and I'm sitting at my desk reading Fark. Storm goes by, with a book.

"Dad, I'm going to make my lunch. This book has the food pyramid in it, and I'm going to make a healthy lunch with the stuff in the food pyramid in it."

"Ok hon, good idea," I say, and continue reading.

There is bumping around in the kitchen. "Dad... do we have a cow? The food pyramid shows a cow."

"Noooo, I'm pretty sure we don't. You don't have to eat everything on the pyramid in one meal though. As long as you eat a cow later today it will still count."

"Mmm, ok," she says. There is a pause. "You probably want to come in the kitchen so you can see how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the old fashioned way. And you can help by getting the peanut butter."

I smile, and carry my cereal into the kitchen. I get her the peanut butter from the top shelf and sit down at the table.

"Ok," she says in her 'I'm teaching you something' voice, "First you need two pieces of bread." She reaches into the bag and fishes out two pieces. "Dad, there are only two pieces of bread left."

"How many pieces do you need?"

"I only need two. I mean there are only two left in the bag."

"That's better than only one piece. At least you can make a sandwich with two pieces."

"Yeah. Ok, first you spread your bread out like this..." She places the two slices on the table, aligning them carefully. I unfold a napkin and offer it, she lifts the pieces and puts them on the napkin. "Then, you get some peanut butter." She opens the jar and starts spreading peanut butter on one side. "It's okay if it's crunchy."

"Which is better, crunchy or smooth?" I ask, wanting to make sure I make authentic old fashioned pbj's in the future.

"It depends on your personality, if you have a crunchy or smooth personality."

"What kind of personality do you have?"

She ponders a bit. "Crunchy. What kind do you have?"

"Definitely crunchy."

She seems pleased by this. "Good," she says, "now here is how you make it old fashioned." She gets a jar of salted peanuts from the shelf, and takes out a handful. "You stick them onto where you put the peanut butter," she says, making a small grunting sound as she mashes them into the bread. One of my eyebrows might have tried to Spock, but I think I suppressed it. "Would you open the jelly?"

I open it and hand it back. "So it's the peanuts that make it old-fashioned?"

"You have to mash them in. They used to mash them in because they didn't have sandwich bags." Makes. Perfect. Sense. She takes the jellied side and puts it over the peanutty side, and beams. "I call it a sandwich!"

"Cool. Nice job."

"Do you know where sandwiches come from? There was a book and there was this tiny witch and she lived in a hole in the sand, and she asked 'Who wants a sandwich?', and a pig said 'Me first!', and she tried to get him and she punched him because he tried to run away."

Blink blink. She starts wrapping the sandwich up in the napkin. "We have sandwich bags now hon."

"I know, I'm just wrapping it up first. Keeps it warm." Ok. Mel hands her a sandwich bag and helps put the sandwich in.

Storm puts the sandwich in the softside lunchbag and then puts in the blueberry applesauce. "Where are the spoons?" she grumbles, rummaging around on the shelf. "Aha!" She marches by holding a spoon out in her clenched fist, arm extended, and puts it in the bag. She puts in a napkin, then thinks about it and puts in another napkin.

"Backup napkin," she explains, "A backup napkin is when you have another napkin in case you spill and you need a napkin. I say napkin a lot, you know, Napkin?" She apparently thinks she's pretty funny because she cracks up at this.

She goes and looks in the freezer, and comes out with this HUGE freezer pack, the kind you'd use to keep a cooler chilled.

"I don't know if you need one that big hon."

"I want to keep my sandwich cold." I thought she wanted to keep it warm. Oh well.

"It will crush your sandwich." She thinks about this.

"Ok, I'll put it on the bottom and put my food on top." She rearranges the lunchbag, and zips it up. "TaDAAAAA!!!!!" she declares, and holds it up. "I packed my lunch!"

"You sure did. Good job. I love you."

She runs out of the room. "Love you too!!"