Merry Christmas

It's not 11am yet and already I have programmed one daughter's cellphone, assembled a slushie maker and made slushies with other daughter, extracted several items from an Alcatraz of packaging, pondered a box of fine chocolates in fascinating flavors, and sipped a pumpkin spice latte.

Storm was amazingly good this morning and was content to dig in her stocking while we slept. She's currently playing with her alarm-clock puppy. Lorelei got up after the rest of us, looking groggy in her "I [skull and crossbones] you" pajamas. She's mostly geeked over the new cellphone but she also got some very cool clothes and a handmade felted purse covered with pins from Northern Sun. Melanie is still entranced with the hundred-plus Black Phoenix "imps" (perfume samples) she got from my parents. She has informed me she has a lot of research to do before she can shower... she's online looking up scent descriptions.

Heehee... I'm having fun watching everybody. Merry Christmas.

One thing leads to another.

=== Episode one - from an old video we watched today ===

I come upon Lorelei sitting on the floor. She's threeish. She's putting on a large sock of mine.
me: What are you doing?
Lorelei: *giggles*
me: Hmm? What are you doing??
Lorelei: [singsong voice] I'm not going to tell yooouuuu.
me: What? Why? Why not?
Lorelei: I'm not going to tell you because I'm preg-a-net with my babies.
me: [long pause... remember, I'm not used to this yet] Oh... really...
Lorelei: Yes, because you don't want me to have babies.
me: I think you might be a little bit young.
Lorelei: [no response]
me: How did you get pregnant? (he asked, cringing)
Lorelei: [correcting me] Preg-a-net...
me: How'd you get pregnant?
Lorelei: Preg-a-net...
me: [a tad more firmly] Pregnant.
Lorelei: [long pause... looks at me. then quietly...] preg-a-net.
me: Ok. How'd that happen?
Lorelei: Um, I just took off and found some babies at the baby store and... and I said "May I please have some of your babies?" and the lady... and she said "Of course."
me: And she put some babies in your tummy for you?
Lorelei: [thinks about this] Sure... they just opened up my tummy and they saw as many beds in there. And she said "I'm to put all my babies in there"...
me: Really?
Lorelei: ... and she put all my babies in there and I have all ninety-nine in my tummy. [she pulls up her sweatshirt and looks at her tummy. she starts wriggling around] Feel my tummy and you'll feel them getting out of their beds and playing with their toys.
me: Oh ho! How about that!
Lorelei: Yeah. [wriggles around some more]
me: You have to go potty, don't ya?
Lorelei: Of course I do.
me: Of course you do. Why don't you hurry and go potty?
Lorelei: Ok.
me: Ok.

=== Episode Two - Current day ===
We're driving in the car, and somehow the word "pregnant" comes up.

Lorelei: "Preg-a-net"
Storm: It's "pregnant".
Lorelei: [being cute like on the video] Preg-a-net.
Storm: [louder] Pregnant.
Lorelei: Preg-a-net
Storm: Pregnant!!
Lorelei: [laughing] Preg-a-net!
Storm: [matter-of-factly]  Penis.
me: Ok, that's it, discussion over.