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The day started normally... got up, had breakfast and coffee, took a shower. No big plans today, just mow the lawn. No problem. As I was drying myself off, however, I heard a drip... drip... drip... that wasn't coming from the showerhead. It was coming from below the floorboards. I put my ear down by the air vent. Yep, definitely, I hear water dripping. Crap.
Unlock the basement door, flick on the lights. This is an unfinished basement, I have plastic sheeting over dirt floor. And my, what a large puddle of water is gathering in the plastic below the heat pump thingie. It would appear all water the unit is making is being deposited on my floor, instead of being pumped out like it should.
Inspection of the pump determines the pump is for the dump. I look up a new one online, they are about $50. Ok. Finish getting ready, drop Lorelei at the mall, then I go to Lowes. Pick up new condensation pump. Stroll by the lawn tools... ah, I've been meaning to get a decent bypass lopper. I pick one up. And look, some nice poly rope on sale. Get some of that too.
Get home, take out old pump, put in new pump. Scoop about 3 gallons of water off the basement floor and deposit outside. While leaving the basement, I notice the ladder. "Oh yeah, I need to clean the gutters." So out with the ladder, get the wheelbarrow, clean the gutters, throwing the crud into the wheelbarrow.
Finishing with this, I think, this would be a perfect time to trim that huge bush that is encroaching on my neighbors driveway. Indeed, this is what I bought the loppers for. So chop chop chop, I trim said bush, and put it in the wheelbarrow. Then I keep chopping, and make a pile bigger than the wheelbarrow and its contents. Finally I decide I've killed it enough, and drag all the cuttings and gutter crud to the woods.
What other projects can I do, now that I'm hot and filthy? Ah... the curly willows. See, my mom gave us these curly willow twigs. "Just stick them in the ground and they will grow." Yeah, sure mom. So I stuck them in the dirt up near my mailbox. A year and something later, they are going on eight foot tall, and when it rains they lean WAY out into the road. I am worrying the road crew will come and cut them down. They are decidedly in the right-of-way.
Ok, I'll dig them up and move them. Plenty of time.
Yeah. Right.
These things have grown straight down. There is some dude in China looking at this sprig coming up, and thinking "what an attractive little plant". It's the root of my tree. Anyway, I know you are supposed to leave as much of a root ball as you can when you replant something like this, but it just aint happening. Up by the road, it's not much soil. It's mostly rock, I guess part of the road foundation. I worked like mad, and finally got one out, and replanted it nearer the house. I hope it isn't traumatized too bad. My theory is that if you can just stick a twig in dirt and it grows, replanting a tree with most of it's roots intact but no root ball should go just fine. Cross your fingers.
Anyway, start digging up the second tree. This one has two trunks, each of which is thicker than the first tree. Good lord this thing is hanging on. I dig until I have a huge crater in it, and it's like the trunk just keeps going down and down, barely branching off! I mean, what kind of root system is that?? Anyway, I am feeling kinda yucky from the heat so I decide it's a good time for a break.
Go in house. Drink ice water. Read some Fark.
Go back out. I have a new plan. I will dig down a bit further, then cut the root with an axe. I'm feeling a bit like Jack and the Beanstalk in reverse, but whatever. So I go and get my axe Eugene. WTF? Said axe looks like it has been used to break up a concrete wall. Rebar reinforced, no less. It's not even close to sharp. Ok, so where is my metal file. Dig dig dig, can't find it. But I find a sharp chisel. Ah, a plan! So back outside, dig down some more, try to cut the root, get some done. Eventually with lots of twisting, bending and hacking, I get it cut. Only half the tree falls down. The other trunk has it's OWN root. Lovely.
Eventually, I get alltwo three trees replanted, staked, tied, watered. Melanie's friend Kelly Kim (I'm slow with names... sorry) was kind enough to hold them vertical while I packed in the dirt. She had planned to spend the day at the Highland's Festival, but it was too hot. Super, the help was welcome. The trees look good! I hope they will survive the transplant.
I am exhausted. I look around. You know what? The hell with the lawn. I'm tired. I can't wait to get a shower.
I put away the ladder. Roll up the hose, lean the shovel and rake against the house. Put up the wheelbarrow. And it's as I am putting the tools away in the basement that I hear it. Drip... drip... drip. Yes folks, the new pump has already quit working.
Fuck.
It's sort of... grinding a bit, but not pumping.
Unmount the pipe, unmount the pump, take the pump apart. Apparently the water that was built up in the system from earlier in the day rushed out, getting various chunks of ick and goo in my new pump. I clean it out. Lifting the float up makes it spin. Ok. I reassemble, remount, refix the pipe. Hopefully it will work. I scoop three more gallons of water out of my basement puddle and dump it outside.
I'm done. I'll do the lawn tomorrow. I am not even going to look and see if the pump is working until tomorrow. I'm going to shower now, and then fall down. Thanks.
Unlock the basement door, flick on the lights. This is an unfinished basement, I have plastic sheeting over dirt floor. And my, what a large puddle of water is gathering in the plastic below the heat pump thingie. It would appear all water the unit is making is being deposited on my floor, instead of being pumped out like it should.
Inspection of the pump determines the pump is for the dump. I look up a new one online, they are about $50. Ok. Finish getting ready, drop Lorelei at the mall, then I go to Lowes. Pick up new condensation pump. Stroll by the lawn tools... ah, I've been meaning to get a decent bypass lopper. I pick one up. And look, some nice poly rope on sale. Get some of that too.
Get home, take out old pump, put in new pump. Scoop about 3 gallons of water off the basement floor and deposit outside. While leaving the basement, I notice the ladder. "Oh yeah, I need to clean the gutters." So out with the ladder, get the wheelbarrow, clean the gutters, throwing the crud into the wheelbarrow.
Finishing with this, I think, this would be a perfect time to trim that huge bush that is encroaching on my neighbors driveway. Indeed, this is what I bought the loppers for. So chop chop chop, I trim said bush, and put it in the wheelbarrow. Then I keep chopping, and make a pile bigger than the wheelbarrow and its contents. Finally I decide I've killed it enough, and drag all the cuttings and gutter crud to the woods.
What other projects can I do, now that I'm hot and filthy? Ah... the curly willows. See, my mom gave us these curly willow twigs. "Just stick them in the ground and they will grow." Yeah, sure mom. So I stuck them in the dirt up near my mailbox. A year and something later, they are going on eight foot tall, and when it rains they lean WAY out into the road. I am worrying the road crew will come and cut them down. They are decidedly in the right-of-way.
Ok, I'll dig them up and move them. Plenty of time.
Yeah. Right.
These things have grown straight down. There is some dude in China looking at this sprig coming up, and thinking "what an attractive little plant". It's the root of my tree. Anyway, I know you are supposed to leave as much of a root ball as you can when you replant something like this, but it just aint happening. Up by the road, it's not much soil. It's mostly rock, I guess part of the road foundation. I worked like mad, and finally got one out, and replanted it nearer the house. I hope it isn't traumatized too bad. My theory is that if you can just stick a twig in dirt and it grows, replanting a tree with most of it's roots intact but no root ball should go just fine. Cross your fingers.
Anyway, start digging up the second tree. This one has two trunks, each of which is thicker than the first tree. Good lord this thing is hanging on. I dig until I have a huge crater in it, and it's like the trunk just keeps going down and down, barely branching off! I mean, what kind of root system is that?? Anyway, I am feeling kinda yucky from the heat so I decide it's a good time for a break.
Go in house. Drink ice water. Read some Fark.
Go back out. I have a new plan. I will dig down a bit further, then cut the root with an axe. I'm feeling a bit like Jack and the Beanstalk in reverse, but whatever. So I go and get my axe Eugene. WTF? Said axe looks like it has been used to break up a concrete wall. Rebar reinforced, no less. It's not even close to sharp. Ok, so where is my metal file. Dig dig dig, can't find it. But I find a sharp chisel. Ah, a plan! So back outside, dig down some more, try to cut the root, get some done. Eventually with lots of twisting, bending and hacking, I get it cut. Only half the tree falls down. The other trunk has it's OWN root. Lovely.
Eventually, I get all
I am exhausted. I look around. You know what? The hell with the lawn. I'm tired. I can't wait to get a shower.
I put away the ladder. Roll up the hose, lean the shovel and rake against the house. Put up the wheelbarrow. And it's as I am putting the tools away in the basement that I hear it. Drip... drip... drip. Yes folks, the new pump has already quit working.
Fuck.
It's sort of... grinding a bit, but not pumping.
Unmount the pipe, unmount the pump, take the pump apart. Apparently the water that was built up in the system from earlier in the day rushed out, getting various chunks of ick and goo in my new pump. I clean it out. Lifting the float up makes it spin. Ok. I reassemble, remount, refix the pipe. Hopefully it will work. I scoop three more gallons of water out of my basement puddle and dump it outside.
I'm done. I'll do the lawn tomorrow. I am not even going to look and see if the pump is working until tomorrow. I'm going to shower now, and then fall down. Thanks.