bummed

Got some bad news today of a personal nature so I'm in a blue and sedate mood. *sigh* Life moves on and all, but sometimes it's hard not to get down about it. Hopefully there is a silver lining to this that I just can't see yet. Ok, I must admit... given the new information, it is probably the right thing to happen, so that is a silver lining of a sort of itself. Gotta keep the universe in alignment you know, or it gets a nasty vibration around 60mph. yadda yadda yadda... insert generic zen statements here. Just because it's right doesn't prevent it from also sucking. I understand though. I guess it would be more a shame if I didn't feel a loss.

Work was useless today... two long meetings, lots of interruptions, I can count the things I accomplished on two fingers with one left over.

Somebody tell Monday it can lay off now.


I look forward to a glass of wine. I have to wait until after I pick Lorelei up from the funeral. One of her best friend's grandmother died, and she is over there providing support. It's about time my mother-in-law's suicide had something positive to contribute, instead of hanging around ominously in the back of my head... Lorelei is feeling competent to help her friend deal since she went through it herself.


Spell checker doesn't like "yadda yadda yadda", it offers suggestions. I will revise the phrase. From now on we should say "Yoda Yalta Nada".


New raven icon today... these are all from ravens I've photographed myself. The background is from an particle collision simulator called "The Bubble Chamber". Link here.

A few pics from the B&B

These photos were from the White Gate Inn in downtown Asheville, since a couple people asked for some.

Sitting area...

Amusingly enough, the zine on the couch called "the Mountain Xpress" has an article about polyamory, and the main individual interviewed is only identified as Mr. X. It wasn't me... funny though. Just out of the frame to the left is the candy dish I would break only a few hours later.

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Something I think about from time to time, probably posted before

We are odd creatures. The body contains our vitality and is needed for our life, but we are more than just a body. We are also a spirit and a consciousness, and we perceive the body does not contain our spirit like a vessel. Our spirit exists through the body, and around it, and oftentimes beyond it.

At some point, we pass on. Maybe we die entirely, maybe we leave our bodies behind and continue on without. What then? Depends on your beliefs I suppose. But it rings true to me that our spirit can exist after the body is gone, and this made me think.

How will I change if I am a being only of spirit and energy? Outside the obvious stuff like no more sunburns, no more staff meetings, no more taxes. The answers are profound and powerful.

How would my values change? What would I value in my myself, if I had no physical concerns? What things would I want to improve, if I was only thought and spirit? How would I go about improving them? What role would introspection play in this new existence? What role intuition, or willpower, or belief?

What would I find worthwhile in others? How would I choose who my friends were? What would communication be like, with no appearances to hide behind? What would interactions be like? How would I show appreciation to those I value? How would I show love?

What would my toolset be like? How would I work through problems? What would constitute sickness, and what would define health? What would it mean to be a fully realized being?


All the answers I find show me how to be a better person here on earth, in this body. It helps me see what is important, it reminds me what matters, it reminds me that I have a life beyond that which I can touch with my hands.

I am a being of spirit and energy, as are we all. In the big picture, the physical world we perceive is a shallow veneer over the vast and deep universe of energy our spirit selves are jacked in to. Learning this aspect of ourselves, learning to feel our connection to the universe that goes beyond our skin and beyond miles, is maybe what we're here to do. I can't describe how joyful it is when you feel it... its like an embrace that is packed with awareness and meaning and a sense of belonging. It is both being borne by a current, and an instant pathway to everyone and everywhere. It's never being alone. It's never being apart. It reaches across continents and time. If you've ever stood under a powerline after a rain, and the electricity thrums and crackles all around you, it's like that. We're tapped in to the dynamo of the stars, baby. I've got the power.