Melanie's rules of pocket knife shopping

[misterx]

I've been trying to find her a new pocketknife, since her gerber has gotten all loose and abused. Here are the rules, as I've been able to collect thus far:

• It can't be all "covered in bolts".
  
• It should be a switchblade, but she would accept assisted opening.
  
• It can't be a plain blade. It must have serrations.
  
• It can't have too many serrations. It must have just the right amount.
  
• It can't go Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! in your hand (accompanied by elbow thrashing motion)
  
• It has to be able to close. ( I guess this rules out single-use switchblades? )
  
• It can't look like a bird.

Comments

[mountain-lion.livejournal.com]

she's a woman that knows what she wants.

[hisbonnielass.livejournal.com]

I believe gerber has a lifetime warranty. If you send it back to them they should give you a new one.

[misterx.livejournal.com]

I don't believe "just plain warn out" is covered. It looks like she's been carving her name into the curb with it.

[cuntishness.livejournal.com]

i love 5

[dariens-haircut.livejournal.com]

Yup.
That one applies to so many things.

[ianlyzu.livejournal.com]

it can't look like a bird???? waaa???