The trouble with using "big-ass" as an adjective

[misterx]

I've heard several examples of people using "big-ass" as an adjective lately, and I would like to warn you of the dangers inherent in this linguistic structure. Namely, that any use of this modifier is subject to misinterpretation, especially when used vocally, or when the hypen is admitted. For instance...

Example 1: "I killed a big ass spider in the bathroom today."
You probably meant that you killed a large spider. But it is also possible you just admitted you have ass spiders, which is just nasty. If you have ass spiders, don't admit it. Seek help.

Example 2: "I made a big ass mistake at work today."
Really? You made a big "ASS MISTAKE"? At WORK? What the hell were you thinking? Dude, you are soooo fired.

Example 3: "I need a big ass fucking vacation."
Really Mr. Buttram? You need a big, ass fucking vacation? Whatever floats your boat I guess. I hope I don't see you until you return. And yes, it was really said by someone named Buttram. I will not let him live it down.

In conclusion, I hope you are able to learn from their mistakes, and spare yourself the social repercussions.

Comments

[wldrose.livejournal.com]

http://www.fatasstequila.com/

[misterx.livejournal.com]

http://www.bigblackdickrum.com/

[manifestress.livejournal.com]

Tooooooo funny!

[fjorab-teke.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, that's great! Thanks for giving me more things to make fun of. :-)

[asbrand.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't it be used as "big assed", not "big ass", though?

;-)



-Az

[brujaoscura.livejournal.com]

Ok- I have learned through experience to NEVER eat or drink when reading some of your posts...
Yet another keyboard was saved because I had the good sense NOT to eat and drink while reading your post

[misterx.livejournal.com]

Vaughn's free screen-cleaning service.

[misterx.livejournal.com]

This would also be true. But I think at the point you are resorting to "big ass" or "big assed", it is already too late for your grammar.

Unless you are referring to someone or something with particularly distended buttocks, of course.

[ruethee.livejournal.com]

Bahahahahaaaahaha!
SO funny. This made me almost piss myself laughing. Then again, I almost piss myself a lot lately since I'm about to have a baby!

[misterx.livejournal.com]

I lol'ed. :)

[rhapsody-98.livejournal.com]

Those Ass Spiders can be awful, I agree. *nodnod*

[natf.livejournal.com]

Yeah - it is things like this (I think they mean "big-assed") and the "your friendly!" (my friendly what?!) that make me feel SO old these days… I am *sure* that I used to know how to speak, read and understand English but these days I am no longer convinced!

[galador42.livejournal.com]

I often make the same observations. My favorite is still the name of a coffee shop chain in South Florida called Bad Ass Coffee.

Is there any good ass coffee?