misterx: (Default)
OFIM good people. As you may know, spam is like a word association game for me, I judge the quality of spam by the first thing that pops into my head when I read it.

"You can be ugly and stupid as long as your shaft is big."
Why am I picturing Vern Troyer walking next to Samuel L Jackson?

"Boost your health with Acai Berry."
acai thx bai

"You will find online shopping for drugs very convenient."
You will also find you have new package delivery guys in blue uniforms.

"After you enlarge your penis you can feel all the enjoyments of this life."
But, you must feel only with your penis, that is the catch. "Hey honey, feel how soft this sweater is... OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"Feeling unneeded in bed? We can change it to different feeling."
Like unneeded at work too.

"Satisfy Your Loveer"
I am particularly intrigued by this combination of the words "lover" and "veer". Except that the word "veer" is typically heard in news reports, as in "...causing him to veer into oncoming traffic". Perhaps you will satisfy him/her so much, they will veer into traffic. But seriously, you shouldn't be doing that while driving. Get a room.

"Being a real man is a hard job, but it's easier with a blue pill."
Real men choose the red pill, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

"Bust a move"
Says she wanna dance cuz she likes the groove, so come on fatso just bust a move. You want it, baby you got it...

"Vacancy of the accounting assistant"

You got that right, she's a total airhead.

"You hate when your friend down there ignores a hot chick."

Freakin' Igor, he has a one track mind. Always with the brains, that one!  Igor, get out of the graveyards and bring me a hottie!

"Loan mortgage car"
Guys, come on, you aren't even trying anymore. Don't give up. At least make an attempt to get past the filters.

"Is this a photoshop?"
No, this looks spammed. I can tell from some of the pixels, and from seeing quite a few spams in my time.

"Amazing weight loss in the shortest time possible"
Try the Eviscerator 2000! It slices, it dices...

"Continues to Execute Aggressive Development of Immune-O-Therapy"
What exactly is "Immune-O-Therapy"? As in, Immune Orgasm Therapy? I may be willing to try this. And you say you are developing it aggressively? Even better. :)

"Age is no longer a barrier for me in bed"
Yep. I'm now dating 90-year-olds.


And, because I appreciate innovation even if it's spam, I share this with you... some enterprising spammer made the word viagra made by coloring in blocks of an html table. I got it in an email entitled "Allarm!":

                                                             
                                                             
                                                             
                                                             
                                                             
                                                             

Its fun! Resize your browser to watch the word change. It's like they emailed me a toy.  I'm still not buying any though.

TTFN,

Vaughn

May 2017

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